Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trap by Janae B. Weinhold

Author:Janae B. Weinhold
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781577318385
Publisher: New World Library

SELF-LOVE

Self-love begins when you’re able to gain object constancy and see yourself as having both positive and negative parts, all of which are lovable. Self-love is almost a taboo in our dominator culture because it’s associated with selfishness and masturbation.

Self-love and self-nurturing, characteristics of partnership societies, are expressed in the daily relationship that you have with yourself. They are expressed by taking good care of your body, getting adequate exercise and rest, eating nourishing foods, maintaining good grooming habits, and wearing attractive clothing. Creating quiet time to meditate, pray, and reflect helps you love your spiritual self. Going to therapy, finding community in support groups, and spending quality time with your partner helps you create harmonious social relationships.

Self-love, as it is expressed in your relationships with others, is evidenced by your ability to set appropriate boundaries. You can say no to abuse, to invasions of your space, to being used, to drugs, to being controlled and manipulated, to guilt and shame, and to exposing yourself to negative people. “I’m worth it!” is an important attitude for self-love, and it requires you to give your needs status equal to that of others’ needs. To begin loving yourself may require that you replace negative messages from your childhood with more positive ones. Then you can create life situations in which you experience acceptance and approval, high self-esteem, positive self-image, and positive self-talk.

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